In Search of Gay Money: The economics of love and happiness

As gays and lesbians writing about money, we’ve grown weary of reading all the personal finance content that’s written from the perspective of straight marriages.

So at Queercents, we’ve turned the tables on money and relationship advice by asking: What if all of our favorite money columnists were gay? Would their advice be more relevant to our lives?
We think the answer is yes! And as such, this is our weekly series called In Search of Gay Money where we reprint their advice by swapping out pronouns and a few other words to make it seem like everyone is queer!

Click over to Queercents to read The Economics of Love and Happiness by Tyler Cowen and Queercents.

Ten Money Questions for Robyn Streisand

Robyn Streisand is the Principal Management Executive of The Mixx, a full service creative agency she founded in the heart of New York City in 1996. Robyn sees the big picture with unparalleled flair, creativity, enthusiasm, sensitivity and vision.

It’s a trait that runs in the family… yes, she’s related to another well-known Streisand! Robyn’s intuition for balancing business and passion has been the key to The Mixx’s success. She opened up with us about growing her business and taking a few calculated risks to get it there. And of course, we tossed in a money question about Babs, just for the boys!


Mosey on over to Queercents to read more or catch other interviews in the Ten Money Questions archive.

In Search of Gay Money: Don’t let money ruin your partnership

As gays and lesbians writing about money, we’ve grown weary of reading all the personal finance content that’s written from the perspective of straight marriages.

So at Queercents, we’ve turned the tables on money and relationship advice by asking: What if all of our favorite money columnists were gay? Would their advice be more relevant to our lives?
We think the answer is yes! And as such, this is our weekly series called In Search of Gay Money where we reprint their advice by swapping out pronouns and a few other words to make it seem like everyone is queer!

Click over to Queercents to read Don’t Let Money Ruin Your Partnership by Dan Kadlec and Queercents.

How gays & lesbians can sway rest of country on gay marriage: Wed with our wallets!

“Marriage is a great institution, but I’m not ready for an institution.” – Mae West

Last week, many of us had reason to celebrate as the California Supreme Court ruled that the ban here on gay marriage is unconstitutional. I’ve received many emails from friends asking if we’re going to get married.


Jeanine and I have talked about this many times and always agreed that we would wait until it was recognized at the federal level. But we’ve changed our minds and we’re heading to the altar. Although it won’t be a summer wedding – we think it’s best to wait and make sure the conservatives don’t get a ballot initiative this November that would amend the state constitution.


But once it looks like it’s going to stick, then yes, we’ll be tying the knot. Here’s why others should consider joining us even if your state doesn’t recognize same-sex marriages, domestic partnerships or civil unions. It’s best articulated by Brian Richardson in The Advocate:

But why wait for justice? Those who can afford it should travel to places that fully recognize our relationships and get married already!

It’s true that nonresident marriages will not be recognized in our home states (thank you, Defense of Marriage Act), but we can still send a powerful message. Just as we often use our dollars to support gay-friendly companies like Subaru and Disney, it’s time we wed with our wallets. Take your wedding banquets to Boston or Vancouver, Canada. Honeymoon in Amsterdam or Cape Town, South Africa.


If you can afford a destination wedding, have your ceremony in the few places that fully recognize same-sex marriage — Massachusetts, Belgium, Canada, the Netherlands, South Africa, or Spain. By supporting communities that support us, we show other regions still hostile to marriage equality just how much they are missing out.
And in about thirty days, add California to this list. Here’s one reader that did this back in 2003 when she took her partner to Canada and got married. And why Canada?
In the summer of 2003 you could go to Vermont for a civil union, or to California to register for domestic partnership, or to Hawaii to declare your Reciprocal Beneficiary Relationship. Talk about romantic. None of these civilly unioned partnership-recognition deals came with any significant benefits that you couldn’t already arrange on your own. And those state-granted benefits did not travel beyond the states’ borders. I didn’t want a domestic partnership, civil union or reciprocal beneficent relationship.

Ontario said, “Come get married. We’d love to have you as our guest.” Yes, married, the same as everyone else. Even if the U.S. wouldn’t recognize our marriage, the fact that it was a real marriage meant something to me. I’d be happy to go to Canada to get it.
Well, the good ole’ United States of America is about to finally get it. That’s “states” and in this economy money seems to be talking. Back to The Advocate article:
New York City comptroller William C. Thompson Jr. estimates his city’s economy would gain $142 million in the first three years after implementation of same-sex marriage legislation.

Let’s take our millions up the coast to Massachusetts or across the border to Canada. Because only when state legislatures realize how much money they’re losing will they help us gain the equality we’re seeking.


Yes, mayors and legislators should support marriage equality because it’s the right thing to do. But for those who aren’t there yet, we must expand our argument beyond what is right to what is lucrative. If we wed with our wallets now, it won’t be long before businesses and politicians wake up to the economic benefits of equality. Then the real America will start to agree with Mayor Quimby [of The Simpsons] and recognize that now is the time to legalize gay money — I mean gay marriage.
Where are my gay dollars going to get spent first? Wedding rings, of course!

Ten Money Questions for Paolo Andino

Paolo Andino is that good looking guy from the Big Gay Sketch Show on Logo. Actually, he’s the extremely good looking guy. Oh yeah, he happens to be funny too. Nice combo!

This first generation Cuban American from Miami is a rising star amongst his troupe members but off set he’s a solo entrepreneur making dough with his mixing bowls. Read on to learn about his whole wheat and high fiber cookies. In between batches, I got personal with him about acting, baking and making a living doing the things he loves.


Mosey on over to Queercents to read more or catch other interviews in the Ten Money Questions archive.

In Search of Gay Money: Millionaires in the Making

As gays and lesbians writing about money, we’ve grown weary of reading all the personal finance content that’s written from the perspective of straight marriages. So at Queercents, we’ve turned the tables on money and relationship advice by asking: What if all of our favorite money columnists were gay? Would their advice be more relevant to our lives?

We think the answer is yes! And as such, this is our weekly series called In Search of Gay Money where we reprint their advice by swapping out pronouns and a few other words to make it seem like everyone is queer!


Click over to Queercents to read the Millionaires in the Making: Ryan Hope and Bill Wells by David Goldman and Queercents.

Does church make you a better employee? Optimism & putting in an honest day’s work.

“My mind is my own church.” – Thomas Paine

Last week, Penelope Trunk, my favorite career authority, wrote a post providing 4 tips that will improve productivity at work. Number 3 on her list: Go to church.


She points her brazen careerists to The New York Times article where:

Lisa Cullen reports that girls who go to church work harder than other people. Maybe you think this is because church girls are so bored in their upstanding lives that they can’t think of anything better to do than work. But I think it actually has something to do with optimism.

People who go to church regularly are more optimistic people in general, and optimism makes people feel more positive about their work. If you feel like you will affect your work in a positive way, you’re more likely to dig in and do it.
What do you think? Does faith influence optimism? And how does this translate in the workplace?

One of her readers suggested it’s because Christians are great sheep. Depending on the day of the week, their shepherd could be their employer, pastor or Christ himself. Baa, baa… you get the picture. The commenter writes:

To my point though, each religious poster has a similar take on why Christians are more productive at work - be it faith in decision-making, optimism, or simply not being distracted by YouTube, flirting, my space, etc. But here are other possible reasons, self esteem and adherence to duty.

At the heart of all major religions is the concept of respect for self (self esteem) as a child of God. Treat yourself with respect, and by implication, do whatever you do with diligence and pride because your actions are an extension of your physical self. If you do something, do it well as it represents you.


Second, in terms of adherence to duty, the saying, “…give onto Caesar that which is Caesar’s” and a myriad of other Judeo-Christian parables abound, about how servants, slaves, etc should be dutiful to a master or employer. Basically, we make great sheep.


In the past, the most pliable and easily ruled population has been a religious population. Religious employees simply work harder because they are less distracted, rebellious, and questioning. This fact while not entirely complimentary, also seems to be an overlooked variable in the religious/hard worker equation.
I’ll give Christians the hard work award. After all, I’m a product of this tradition and wholeheartedly give the church due credit for the development of my work ethic. It takes discipline to do your “daily devotions” and observe “quiet time” with God.

You also have to be pretty studious outside of school to memorize scripture. Of course, I wasn’t quite as diligent as one of my sisters who memorized several books written by the disciple known as Paul and for this she earned the top spot on the church Bible Quiz team. I know, it almost sounds cult-like. Well it was. But it kept me on the straight and narrow until I graduated from college and started questioning everything from my sexuality to an afterlife.

Another commenter on Penelope’s post summarizes these questions best:

Christianity: The belief that some cosmic Jewish Zombie can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.

100,000 Burmese - women, children, families - were just washed off the planet. I guess if you believe in a Christian God you can call that extreme productivity.
Apparently, I’m not alone in my questioning. Here’s a study that found:
The fastest-growing religious group is people without any religious affiliation. But that doesn’t mean the U.S. is experiencing a secular surge. Most in this group aren’t atheists; they just describe their religion as “nothing in particular.”
So I guess most people aren’t going to church. And those that do, why do they get the monopoly on optimism as suggested by Penelope?

Are you optimistic? How does this impact your work day? And is there a correlation between optimism and income? Please let us know below.


I’d argue that a cheerful mood and buoyant personality doesn’t require a belief in God. Your disposition can be improved by any number of things. Say, chocolate for instance. Especially the kind with “good intentions” as one of its main ingredients. Seriously, take a look at Intentional Chocolate. It’s not a gimmick:

  • The strategic advantage is an innovative technology that embeds the intentions of advanced meditators into chocolate and bridges the gaps between spirituality and science. This is the first mind matter product in the market.
  • The target market addresses a market segment that is being described as a mega-trend by 76% of executive’s worldwide, health and well-being. A recent Youtube video about Intentional Chocolate received over 150,000 hits in a 48-hour period.
So it’s Monday morning… anybody out there working hard? Are you giving credit to God or that square of dark chocolate? We want to know… feel free to comment over at Queercents.

Ten Money Questions for Andrew Tobias

Andrew Tobias lives and breathes money. He’s the author of The Only Investment Guide You’ll Ever Need, the well-known manual that puts in plain words how to hold on to money and make more of it. As treasurer of the Democratic National Committee, he’s the DNC’s highest-ranking openly gay official.

These days, he’s one busy guy and yet, he took precious time to talk money with us. Of course, we think that makes him The Best Little Boy in the World.
Mosey on over to Queercents to read more or catch other interviews in the Ten Money Questions archive.

Why are hotel rooms so expensive? The search for a $200/night boutique experience.

“Wealth buys leisure, but not wisdom.” – William George Plunkett

So last weekend it was my birthday. Sound the trumpets! Actually, they sounded last year when I turned forty. Since we spent a small fortune on that party and then on Jeanine’s fortieth in March, we decided to scale back and be a bit more low-key with this one.


Jeanine suggested a weekend in Big Sur but I didn’t want to drive that far and take off Friday from work. So we started looking around Southern California at some of our favorite get-a-way spots. Santa Barbara, the Santa Ynez Valley, Ojai, Palm Springs, Palm Desert and a few places in between.


But as we were planning this last minute jaunt all the hotel rooms either had a two night minimum, were in the $400 - $1000 range or sold out. When on god’s green earth did all the hotel rooms become so expensive? Pre-9/11, I remember many a weekend for less than $200 a night in places all over Southern Cal.
Those days are gone. Where did they go? And what could possibly be worth spending $500 per night plus tax and fees? Oh yeah, and don’t forget the tips.

Here is where we looked:

Our favorite hideaway in Palm Springs is a place called the Korakia and here rooms still run between $179 and $299. Good luck ever finding availability. We didn’t last weekend. What we did find was a 1940’s era boutique hotel called the Mojave Resort. We stayed there five years ago when it was still hip and new. Last weekend, we found the property a bit tired but it hit the budget spot at only $199.

Jeanine called on Friday afternoon and since they had availability, we were able to drive out for the one night. So we checked in early on Saturday and spent the afternoon relaxing by the pool. It’s just what we needed and wanted but had it been twice the expense, I would have elected to stay home in Newport Beach… even during this gray period of June Gloom.

The crazy rates are not just in Southern California. I’m trying to find a place right now in Tucson for a girl’s spa weekend with friends and no such luck for under $400 a night. Of course, we could always splurge for the famed Canyon Ranch, but that will set us back thousands.


By the way, the east coast isn’t immune from these kinds of prices. Why? According to The New York Times, it’s about supply and demand. Jeez… I thought we were experiencing a recession. Apparently not:

As if the sagging dollar and soaring oil costs weren’t enough to dent travel budgets, hotel room rates are expected to surge in the coming year. From New York to Asia, and just about every desirable destination in between, the prices of rooms — especially at hotels and resorts favored by luxury and business travelers — are expected to rise significantly, sometimes in the double digits, analysts say.

A shortage of rooms is to blame. “Supply is simply not keeping up with demand,” said Jan D. Freitag, vice president for global development at Smith Travel Research in Nashville. “So hotels can — and do — command premiums for any rooms they can sell.”
And they’re selling out indeed. But who is buying? Are you? We’re not. Seriously, who can spend this kind of money? And with the summer travel season just around the corner, what are you doing for your vacation this year? I’m interested in hearing your comments over at Queercents.

Looking for some alternatives? Click here to learn more about these three ideas:

  1. Be a tourist at home.
  2. Still need to get the hell out of Dodge? Ever heard of house swapping?
  3. Think camping!
Yeah, well I won’t be doing any camping this summer… but knock yourself out all you camping lesbians.

In Search of Gay Money: Odd couple: When financial opposites attract

As gays and lesbians writing about money, we’ve grown weary of reading all the personal finance content that’s written from the perspective of straight marriages. So at Queercents, we’ve turned the tables on money and relationship advice by asking: What if all of our favorite money columnists were gay? Would their advice be more relevant to our lives?

We think the answer is yes! And as such, this is our weekly series called In Search of Gay Money where we reprint their advice by swapping out pronouns and a few other words to make it seem like everyone is queer!


Click over to Queercents to read the Odd Couple: When Financial Opposites Attract by Yuval Rosenberg and Queercents.

How much money should parents leave behind? Do rich kids deserve a windfall?

“It is not only fine feathers that make fine birds.” – Aesop

Back in January, there was a captivating profile in Fortune Magazine about Melinda Gates, power philanthropist and wife of Bill. The article noted their plan to give away 95% of their wealth in their lifetimes and when asked how much they will leave their children, Melinda indicated they will follow Warren Buffett’s philosophy: “A very rich person should leave his kids enough to do anything, but not enough to do nothing.”


Fortune has written about this at least once before. Back in 1986 to be precise. I’m surprised they even had this one online instead of in the library basement where articles of old can only be found on microfiche. But here it is in living link color.
Buffett does not believe that it is wise to bequeath great wealth and plans to give most of his money to his charitable foundation. Having put his two sons and a daughter through college, the Omaha investor contents himself with giving them several thousand dollars each at Christmas. Beyond that, says daughter Susan, 33, “If I write my dad a check for $20, he cashes it.”

Buffett is not cutting his children out of his fortune because they are wastrels or wantons or refuse to go into the family business -- the traditional reasons rich parents withhold money. Says he: “My kids are going to carve out their own place in this world, and they know I’m for them whatever they want to do.” But he believes that setting up his heirs with “a lifetime supply of food stamps just because they came out of the right womb” can be “harmful” for them and is “an antisocial act.”
So what’s the right amount to leave them?
He went on to say that for a college graduate, Buffett reckons '”a few hundred thousand dollars” sounds about right.

Others use what’s called an incentive trust. This blogger at the Wall Street Journal explains:

Inheritances that have strings attached are known as incentive trusts. They might stipulate that a kid can’t have access to his $10 million until he graduates from college or gets a job. Or they might say that the heir gets cut off if he or she is caught with drugs or abuses alcohol. Some are values-based, saying that an heir has to live up to the broader values of the patriarch in order to get the money.
But should money become a shaper of character? He continues:
To my mind, however, incentive trusts are something of an oxymoron: You leave your kid a fortune, but attach conditions designed to mitigate the impacts of that fortune. It’s a bit like giving someone a lifetime supply of Haggen Dazs, but saying that they can only eat it if they agree to diet and lose weight. And if the conditions are values-based, then the parents are using money to impose their views and principles on their kids — another effective way of robbing them of their own identity.

So here’s my advice: If you really want to mitigate the effects of large fortunes on your kids, don’t leave them a large fortune. Let them find their own careers and success, rather than using money to dictate from the grave.
Character aside, Dayana Yochim at The Motley Fool argues that a dollar spends the same unless it’s inherited and gives these tips to ready yourself for a windfall:
1. Do not put your life on hold, waiting for the windfall.
2. Chill out, but don’t freeze in your tracks.

3. Treat it like you would any other money.
4. Don’t invest like your parents.

5. Carefully consider your options.
So what do you think? Are you relying on an inheritance as part of your financial plan? Do you expect a windfall from your mom and dad? Do you receive trust payments now and if so, what stipulations are attached to them? Would you choose to pass on great wealth to your kids? What is the difference between money gained and money earned? We’d love to hear your thoughts over at Queercents.

Ten Money Questions for Monica Nation

Monica Nation is the co-owner and general manager of Kate’s Lazy Meadow Motel in Mount Tremper, New York (that’s in the Catskills Mountains, not too far from famous Woodstock).

The Kate part happens to be Kate Pierson of the B-52’s. They’re partners in life and partners in business. While Kate is away on tour and promoting the new album, Funplex, Monica offered to get hospitable with us about money, their “love shack” and how they divvy up the cash receipts.


Mosey on over to Queercents to read more or catch other interviews in the Ten Money Questions archive.